Three months ago, I published my blog, Remembering Our Daughters. Today, I would like to remember our sons. This past New Year’s Eve, my son Stephen would have been thirty-seven, and my son Michael would be thirty-four tomorrow, February 11th. I can remember the moment when the miracle of their births rested softly in my arms for the very first time. I could never have imagined that they would be just three and six years old when their precious lives were cut short in a tragic car accident.
I write this “birthday” blog today not just for my sweet boys, but for every family who has lost a beloved son. We remember their words, hugs, toys, books, awards, tears, laughter, and their touch. But, “where is the life that gave them meaning? His clothes hang limp.”1 The pain of their loss is unfathomable and leaves us to wonder how we will continue on. We cry until there are no more tears left. And then we remember the Word of God:
Those who sow in tears, will reap in songs of joy. Psalm 126:5
Time marches on and we are swept along with it. We are still here and by the grace of the Lord through faith we continue on. The Lord preserves sweet memories in our heart while He dries our tears with the promise of the life to come. Every detailed memory is woven into the fabric of the life that we continue to live. The dawn of each new day reminds us of the promise of a tomorrow when the Lord, “will wipe away every tear from [our] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
We can continually cry and withdraw because they are gone, or we can be grateful and smile for the joy they brought into our life. Our heart can be full of the pain of our loss, or we can allow it to be full of the love we shared. I pray that we are forever grateful for the light our sons brought into our life – whether it was for thirty minutes or thirty years. I pray that every parent’s heart is filled with the love once shared to overflowing so that it reflects the faithfulness and healing comfort of the Lord to others.
Happy Birthday, Michael and Stephen. I love and miss you so much. You have carved a forever niche in my heart where I hold you both close. Remembering Michael and Stephen and all of our sons today who are gone from our touch but never from our hearts.
1 Lament For A Son by Nicholas Wolterstorff